Eagerville to hold Fireworks Saturday
If you don’t already know, today is America’s birthday. There’s a feeling of patriotism in the air — along with the fireworks, grilling, and parades. This year, USA is turning 237! What can you buy for a country that has everything? Well, since none of us can probably afford what she really desires — healthy food vending machines on every corner and jetpacks — we’ve decided to gather a list of ways you can show America she’s still glorious even after all these years.
Even with all these technological young things taking place on the world stage (heeey China), we still think she’s doing a pretty good job. So take our advice, show USA you care and have a happy Fourth of July weekend by doing the following things:
1. Wear Her Favorite Colors, Patterns and Animals
Once a year you are expected to go absolutely crazy on red, white and blue. Heck, even mix in the stars, stripes, eagles and any combination of all three. This country has already done so much for you! It educated you, taught you to love ice cream, and has always had a police force there for you to call when those rowdy next door neighbors don’t know when to cut it out! Show America how much it means to you by sponsoring all its favorite things, simultaneously.
2. Take July Fifth Off
You take the day off after Christmas right? The day off after your favorite concert? Show the USA the same commitment to the party. If you didn’t think of this back in May, you’re probably out of luck, but call your boss right now and work it out so you can turn a one day holiday into a prevacation. Lets face it, you know as well as we do calling in sick tomorrow after Fourth of July is like saying you won’t eat any carbs and processed ingredients today: no one will buy it for a second.
3. Dance to Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA, Preferably in Front of an American Flag
What better way to express gratefulness for freedom of speech and all the other cool allowances America has given us than shaking it in front of her flag? Better yet, plan a flash mob so you won’t look so silly doing it by yourself!
4. Memorize as Much of the Constitution as You Can
The Constitution is like America’s favorite epic poem and every time you say it to a stranger, your country’s heart fills with joy. Bonus: memorizing the Constitution is impressive at parties and good when you get into constitutional arguments with that know-it-all cousin of yours.
5. Take the Time to Enjoy the Fireworks
No matter how old and grumpy you are, fireworks still have the power to turn you into a wide-eyed chipper child. If they don’t, you should see a therapist sooner rather than later. So, get ready for the firework display of your life this Saturday evening, July 6, in Eagerville. The announcement was made late last night, July 3, that Eagerville will present a firework show with the first fuse being lit at 9 o’clock in the evening. Bring the family, and some money, because there will be a concession stand selling hot dogs, chips, candy, soda, and water. In addition to Eagerville, Bunker Hill will have a display Saturday evening as well. Bunker Hill’s show will start promptly at dusk.
So have a happy Fourth of July friends and make sure you show America just how much you love her!
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