Monthly Columns
Hollandy III
Hollandy III
By: Sarah Aarssen
“It’s not all Holland, it’s not all Illinois, it’s just a little Holland-y”
This next little ditty about the Dutch culture is inspired by the national holiday that happens to be today, September 15th. It’s celebrated by young and old, rich and poor, thick and thin. It’s the most highly anticipated holiday of the year as a matter of fact. And that holiday is… my birthday! Alright, it’s not really a national holiday, but there is a huge difference in the way the Dutch and Americans celebrate turning a year older so I thought now would be a perfect time to share the traditions with you.
Today I will turn the ripe old age of 35 and if I were in the U.S. I´d probably go to work as usual, have dinner with friends or family and call it a day. In the Netherlands, if you´re turning 5, 25, 95 or anywhere in-between you´re expected to celebrate. It´s not just the milestones here that matter, it´s every year and, after all, why shouldn´t it be? You did live to see another year pass and sometimes just surviving is reason enough to throw a party.
I want to preface this story by saying my Dutch family is old school (and I love them very much). They still eat old school Dutch meals, which I’ll touch on in another Hollandy article. They still celebrate old school style. Some of the younger generation is getting away from the traditions that are “Circle Parties” and ” meat-boiled potato-over cooked veg”, and gaining inspiration from other cultures. My experiences in Dutch birthday bashes are purely… let’s call it… “traditional Dutch”. I know my family is not the only family still celebrating this way because when I mention to other expatriates that I am going to a Dutch birthday party the chatter about the customs immediately ensue. From the greeting, to the seating, to the food, there is always something interestingly Dutch to talk about.
I guess it’s best to start at the beginning, actually getting to the party. You don’t show up early. Not even if you have a tiny child whose nap schedule is interrupted by the timing of the party and it is your own parents throwing the bash. You can (and will be) turned away and asked to come back later if they’re not quite ready for you. Are you gasping at the thought of your mother answering the door and telling you “sorry, can you come back in half an hour, I’m still getting ready”? Yeah, I gasped the first time it happened to us too. This is not meant to anger you and it is not looked upon as rude. It’s simply the way it is. There are few surprise visits in the Netherlands and this includes showing up early to anything.
Once you’re at the party you’re faced with another peculiar tradition. When entering the party you kiss everybody three times (left cheek, right cheek, left cheek) and wish them “gefeliciteerd” or “congratulations”. You kiss the birthday girl, her husband, their cousins, their neighbors, those people you’ve never met before, you just kiss them all. When more people come in, they are meant to go around the room and kiss everybody in attendance as well. Why all the kissing and congratulations though? Why do I wish my mother in law’s neighbor “congratulations on your neighbor” on her birthday? The best explanation I’ve heard is that you’re simply saying “good for you for knowing the birthday girl one more year, well done!” Who am I to argue?
After all of that kissing you’re met with cake and coffee. There is no singing of “Lang zal je leven”, the Dutch “Happy Birthday” or blowing out candles or even traditional cutting of the cake with the birthday girl getting the first slice. You don’t wait and all eat the cake together either. There’s no cake display, no fancy design and not a lot of thought put into the cake at all (which as a Cake Boss, Ace of Cakes, DC Cupcake loving American, I am more than disappointed!). You’re given cake as you walk in and find your seat. And there is not a scoop of ice cream to be found.
Cake and coffee in hand you walk into the real kicker, the real gossip of all Dutch parties, the real killer for many expats like me. You walk into “the Circle”. Don’t worry, there is nothing satanic about it. No tribal dances. Nothing really that interesting at all. “The Circle” is simply the way the room in every single Dutch party is set up. It’s a group of chairs surrounding the perimeter of the room in a circle. It seems harmless enough and the theory behind it is really quite good. In a circle nobody is “the head” or more important than anybody else (a-la, King Arthur’s Round Table, I suppose). You always want to pick a good seat in the circle because this is where you will spend the entire rest of the party. There is no mingling about. No musical chairs later. This is your seat. Like it. Admittedly it can be difficult to choose a good seat because not all of the guests have arrived and you’re not too sure where “Uncle Cigars Smoker” will plop himself down so it can be a bit of a crap shoot. All you can do is cross your fingers and sit.
I’ve heard these parties referred to by the non-Dutch in a multitude of ways, some of my favorites include “The Circle of Death” and “The Circle of Hell”. They’re not exactly looked forward to but it’s simply something you must endure for the sake of the family. Remember how I said I loved my Dutch family? Good. Just thought a gentle reminder would be nice there.
Once the cake and coffee has been eaten then the party really…well actually not much else really happens. It’s a lot of visiting with one another and talking about the weather and vacations. This aspect isn’t unique to the Dutch but, occasionally, you may hear the same story repeated by Auntie So-an-So for the hundredth time, especially if there are several birthdays in a month. It’s where people’s characters really come out though. Or It could be all the booze.
You may have noticed I didn’t mention the snacks, food buffet or bowls of chips and dip. That was no omission, there isn’t any to be talked about. Going from a culture where food is a focus and where the host may plan for days to figure out what to serve to their party guests, to the way the Dutch go about it, was a shock to my system (and my glucose levels). Giving them some credit though, they don’t leave you to sit high and dry. The alcohol is offered in abundance and never is a guest left without drink. Ever.
Yes, the drinks are copious and ever flowing throughout the lifespan of the fest. Beer, wine, spirits… whatever your poison, the host will have it. After years of celebrating birthdays together the host generally knows what you drink and will do their best to have it on hand. As a non-drinker, I am never left without plenty of Cola Light (Diet Coke). I am only one of two people in our family who do not participate in the alcoholic beverages at my family gatherings. The “two” being Marco, my husband. He got the side-eye from a some people the first few parties that we went to when he politely declined a few brewskies with his family but now it’s just known and respected. The Dutch are very “live and let live” and I appreciate that about their culture.
Now of course they don’t leave you totally hungry! That would be rude and an exaggeration of what happens at a true Circle Party! About two or three drinks into the day a tray is passed filled with typical Dutch party “treats” otherwise known as cheese cubes and wursts or what Americans would refer to as braunschweiger, summer sausage and salami. There is also a little pot of mustard for dipping. The tray starts at one side of the circle and is passed from guest to guest. You take one item, dip it if necessary, and pass it on. That does not mean one cheese and one salami. It doesn’t mean one of each item. It means one. Do not grab two. Just save yourself the embarrassment and do not take two items! Once the tray reaches the beginning of the circle it is taken back into the kitchen to be refilled, ready for passing again… in about 30 minutes. All the while, merriment continues, drinks are filled and refilled and the party thunders on.
My Dutch family does offer crackers with a variety of spreads on them as well but I know from speaking with other immigrants that this isn’t always the case. They’ll serve tuna salad, “fillet American” (which is raw beef mixed with spices, which is not American.AT.ALL so I’m not sure where the name came from), curried chicken salad, egg salad on little melba toasts. A tray of these snacks is also passed around the circle, where everybody remains sitting, every 30 minutes or so. Once again, you take one (and be glad you got it!). At this point many of the party participants are feeling fairly good so who cares if you’re not eating! Loads of alcohol on an empty stomach is what makes the party!
All the while you’re sitting in your Dutch circle (with your Dutch family who you love very much, remember), listening to a variety of conversations spoken in a language that you already have a difficult time understanding when spoken one-on-one in a quiet setting. As the evening wares on, the talking is louder, more animated, more Dutch and you (read: me) just have to space out. It’s all you can do. Your only defense. You must fade into your happy place and hope that your partner is almost ready to go. Or that your toddler throws a gigantic tantrum and obviously needs to be put to bed. Or anything, really anything, will happen to get you out of that circle. That blasted circle where Auntie is telling that really inappropriate story once again, like she did last week and last month, and last year. Find your happy place people. Just find it.
It goes on like this for hours until the wee hours of the morn. There is no “end time” to a party, it’s just whenever the guests feel like leaving. My mother and father in law, who are in their early 70’s, have been known to stay up with their guests until 2 or 3 in the morning. Now THAT’s how you party like a Dutchie!
When you do finally part ways with your fellow party people, you once again kiss everybody three times and wave goodbye. You did it. You survived “The Circle”. Happy Birthday!
And I DO love my Dutch family. I really, really do.
Comments
When people think of protests, especially in small, conservative towns, they often imagine tension, anger, or conflict. But what I’ve experienced at our local protests is something else entirely.
There’s music playing. People are smiling, waving, and offering encouragement. Cars pass by and honk in support. There’s laughter, conversations, and a shared sense of purpose. It’s not chaotic. It’s not hostile. It’s community.
These protests have become a place where people come together to feel connected and hopeful. We don’t just hold signs. We bring canned goods for food pantries. We share resources. We check in on each other. Many of us also make a point to support local small businesses before and after the protests , grabbing coffee, dinner, or doing some shopping…. because we know they’re part of this community too.
For many of us, especially those who’ve felt isolated in our beliefs, these gatherings are a lifeline.
I’ve had countless people tell me how much this helps them. They say coming out to protest gets them off their phones, away from the news, and back into the world with purpose. They feel less alone. Less hopeless. I see it in myself too. Being around like-minded people, standing for something that matters, has improved my own mental health. Protesting reminds us that we can still make a difference.
This isn’t about causing division. It’s about connection. It’s about choosing to take action instead of watching history repeat itself while we sit by in silence. For many of us, this is about making sure our kids, neighbors, and future generations know we tried.
When I first had the idea to bring protests to Macoupin County, I reached out to Andi Smith in February. She had already taken the brave first step of standing with a sign in Edwardsville, and her quiet courage lit the way for so many of us. Andi has been a lighthouse of support, not just for me, but for others who are learning how to use their voice. She didn’t do it for attention. She did it because it was the right thing to do. And that kind of leadership matters.
Now, we have weekly protests across the region. And it all started with someone deciding to show up. That’s how movements begin. That’s how change starts. Not all at once, but with one person and then another.
I invite you to join us at our weekly protest every Tuesday from 5:00–7:00 p.m. at the Macoupin County Courthouse in Carlinville. We are building this movement with love, hope, and action. I’m proud to be working alongside Kelley Hatlee and organizations like The 50501 Movement, Macoupin Pride, Macoupin County Action Alliance, and Indivisible.
Weekly protests take place rain or shine every Sunday in Alton from 12 noon to 2 p.m. at the Lincoln Douglas Square, every Tuesday in Carlinville from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Macoupin County Courthouse, and every Friday from 12 noon to 2 p.m. in Edwardsville at the City Park. I encourage others to show up to one near them. You don’t need a crowd to begin. You don’t need permission to care. Just show up. Bring a sign. Start the conversation. You might be surprised how many people were waiting for someone else to take the first step.
Because when we show up, we remember who we are. And when we come together, we realize we were never alone.
Chelsa Pruden
Comments
There is common ground for those who voted for, or against, Donald Trump to be President of the United States again. First, we can all agree that he won the election. Second, Kamala Harris did not whine and lie to the American people that she really won. And third, since it was a free democratic election, the American people will get the government they deserve.
For those citizens who feel disappointed that a majority of voters chose as their leader a demagogue who believes the rule of law does not apply to him, your duty now is to bear witness to the consequences. And remember. For history’s sake.
Stay awake as the herd nods off, and avoids evidence of an insurrection that happened before their very eyes. Observe the idiot wind that blows constantly from the mouths of all those Trump-pets pretending that traitors are patriots. Don’t fall for the false equivalencies, like convincing you that their retribution is the same as real justice.
And stop thinking about King Rump. Entertainment is his game. He’s the best at keeping everyone distracted while he performs his con. He knows what he’s doing. Also, don’t waste your time trying to convince your friends and relatives who have slid down the rabbit hole of self-delusion. This election proved Mark Twain was right when he observed: “It is easier to fool a man, than to convince him he has been fooled.”
James Tweed
1512 Wesley Ave.
Ocean City, NJ 08226
(609)398-3124
Comments
This is my written explanation to the comments I made on the KMOV website regarding the Gay Pride parade back in March. It was just released that Anheuser-Busch had pulled funding from being a sponsor for the Gay Pride. This was about the fourth article I read, and all of them had photos of previous parades where some participants were dressed in pink tutus dancing and twirling in the streets, face paint, leather straps, drag queens, people wrapped in rainbow flags, and other bizarre costumes.
I thought it offensive that adult people were acting in such a manner. I violated one of my personal rules when I reacted to an emotional situation. I made a comment too hastily before I thought it through. I usually give myself a bit of time to think of a proper response before making an emotional statement, this time I just blurted it out. I said I was glad the Gay Pride parade was not funded by AB, then I said, “you do not need to march in the streets to show off your disability.” I am fully aware that homosexuality is not a disability. The statement was absolutely wrong on my account and I do wholeheartedly apologize for that choice of words. It was offending to both gay and perhaps even disabled persons. However, I do stand with the statement agreeing with AB pulling their funding for the Gay Pride parade.
I was making this statement as Larry Schmidt, a private individual stating a personal opinion like I have many times in the past. I was just another voice in the crowd among others with similar opinions. Chelsa Pruden, or some other LBGTQ person looked up my personal information and noticed I was on the County Board. Facebook blew up with the LBGTQ community demanding that I be removed from office and that they would have my job. They were talking amongst themselves trying to get this out to as many sites as they could. I now became political fodder for their cause. Pruden even went on an Alton radio station against me. I sent a written apology to Pruden for what I had said. She chose to ignore the apology and explanation but instead brought in locals and outsiders to conduct a rally at the April Board meeting while LBGTQ made hateful statements about me.
Pruden and her associates assumed I was homophobic and a hater of all gay people. That is further from the truth. I respect gay rights and respect gay people. Homosexuals are a part of life and have been since well before the Bible. I know and respect this. What I do not respect is the entire philosophy of the LBGTQ definition. I believe there are only two sexes, male and female. I also do not accept all the pronouns being thrown around describing all these different sexual orientations. I have made comments in the past, again as a private citizen, stating my opinion about those transsexual types of behavior. Chelsa Pruden and the LBGTQ community preach love and acceptance to all, however, anyone who does not agree with them are called haters. To me the word hate is a pretty strong word and they thrown it around pretty freely. I do not hate anyone. The LGBTQ is all love until you do not agree with them, then they are full of hate and spite because of the way you feel.
I have three cousins in their 40s and 50s who are gay, and a niece in her 20s who is gay. We love them dearly, they are part of the family and treated as such. My wife and I are also Godparents to another gay woman in her 20s who asked to be baptized in our home church. These gay people, as do most, assimilate into their respective communities and live their life as any other citizen. They do not crave special accommodation and attention. Chelsa Pruden and associates preach the loud and proud slogan like they are something special, this is what I have issues with. We are all regular people and should be treated as such.
When the attacks on me and my character were made I was somewhat taken aback. I am a peaceful, fair-minded person who tries to make good decisions but I also have opinions. I am not mean, spiteful, nor do I seek revenge. I was upset by their dialogue stating my supposed hate for them while not even knowing me. The immense chatter from the LBGTQ community made it sound like I was on the 10 most wanted list and that I was a disgusting, terrible human being that shouldn’t walk the face of the Earth .
I was on the road away from home when all these remarks were being made, and it made me feel terrible. I sent a text to my fellow board members to seek their advice because by this time it was all over social media including Carlinville Talk of the Town. Ms. Pruden and associates were trying to bully me into submission. I asked the Board members for advice, if I should step down as chairman, resign altogether, or remain where I was. Remember I was feeling pretty low at this point from all the name-calling and false accusations. The overwhelming response was to stay where you are, you’re doing a great job as chairman. I sent the text from my phone and tried to remember all 18 Board members.
There were apparently three names I could not recall at the time. A local news outlet reported in their article that I had only contacted 15 Board members and that 15 Board members are Republican and three are Democrat making it sound like I purposely did not contact the Democrat Board members. In reality, I only excluded one Democrat, the two others I inadvertently left out were Republican. That sole Democrat made the accusation of the Open Meetings violation at the April meeting. Pruden then filed a complaint against me for violation of the Open Meetings Act. I didn’t purposely exclude anyone from the text, I simply did not have a list in front of me and couldn’t think of the last three names. The AG has the reports and they still have not determined if a violation took place.
I will remain as Macoupin County Board Chairman. What you must realize is that I was voted in by the people who wanted a conservative Christian voice while respecting family values. They are not wanting extreme leftist liberals such as Ms. Pruden and her associates. I look at Ms. Pruden’s social media and she appears to go to every protest she can find that is against any conservative government policy. It seems she is always craving attention.
I have received massive public support for my views. There is a silent majority out there and they keep pretty quiet; the other small percentage tends to cry and carry on when they don’t get their way. I am constantly stopped on the streets, at restaurants, stores, social media and even written letters sent to my home telling me to stay where I’m at. Citizens are tired of the constant liberal, woke views and the last series of elections have proven that. I am the first Republican Chairman since 1969 and the Board now has a 15 to 3 majority. Nothing has changed since I made that statement; I have been chairman for five years now and show me where we did anything to hurt your cause. We represent all citizens of Macoupin County.
Again, let me reiterate, I respect gay people for who they are, they are living their life as they see fit while contributing to our community as any other person. What I don’t care for is the way the LBGTQ and Gay Pride organizations try top force their sexual orientation on our children and general population. Live your lives without trying to indoctrinate everyone else.
I would ask the media represented here this evening to publish this letter in it’s entirety because so far all the reporting has been somewhat one-sided. These are my personal views and not reflective of the entire Board.
Larry Schmidt
Macoupin County Board Chairman
