The Bounty Hunter
By: Sarah Aarssen
“It’s not all Holland, it’s not all Illinois, it’s just a little Holland-y”
That is “The Bounty”. That picture right there was the mother load of all mother loads I’d ever received while being abroad. To the untrained eye, it may look like a pile of groceries for a family whose dentist is very wealthy but that glorious vision, I 100% guarantee you, made every American-living-abroad’s eyes widen, heart palpitate and jaw drop. There may have even been some audible gasps and quite possibly some drool. What you’re looking at folks is “American Goods” in a Dutch kitchen.
Expatriates or Immigrants are constantly hunting for bounty like this. There are Facebook pages, websites, chat rooms and probably support groups dedicated to nothing but bringing a little slice of “home” to those of us who have uprooted and desperately need something to remind us of where we came from no matter where “home” may have been. The variety of American items that I can get now far outweigh what I could find back in 2004 but it’s still not always easy especially if you’re looking for things like medicines (Nyquil), specific scents (shampoos, deodorants) and flavors (Cajun anything!).
I guess a lot of this, for me, ties in with homesickness. You remember me, the woman who cried (off and on but mostly on) my first two years here due to culture shock? I tried curing my homesickness by surrounding myself with things that tasted, smelled and made me feel like “home”. Let me tell you, there is nothing Dutch that could ever pass for American food, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing in all cases, but when you want to wallow in a simple box of Kraft macaroni and cheese and 1) pay the equivalent of $5 for a fake version and 2) cannot even eat the imposter-powdered-cheese-food-product (and really, how can you screw up powdered orange cheese-food?!?!?) it just makes that heartache grow.
The question I get asked most is “what do you miss”. It’s a bit of a loaded question because if you don’t say “my Mom” right off the bat then you’re a totally ungrateful schmuck and of COURSE I miss my entire family but in a very lowly time of desperation “Miracle Whip” or “Hershey’s Chocolate” has been known to slip right out of my mouth before my mind had even fully processed the fact that I was speaking. I always miss my family, I really do, but sometimes a Butterfinger blizzard from the Dairy Queen is the only thing that could possibly make the day survivable and there is no D.Q. to be had. My opinion over the years of what I really do miss has changed greatly but to give you a general idea, when I came back to Amsterdam from my wedding in 2004 we had six suitcases with us, most of it filled with over $400 of American items and probably a good $350 of that being food things. Spices here taste different, honey tastes different, coffee is in a whole other food group, soups are different, meat tastes different and is cut differently, soda is different… everything is just different! Of course you don’t pack up and move a quarter of the way around the globe so you can live the same life you had in The USA but really, can a woman get some decent peanut butter for crying out loud (literally, I was in the aisle, crying out loud). Nowadays, after many years of adjustment, things have mellowed a bit. We were just in Illinois in June of 2011 and our last “big shopping trip” to gather all of those items that I just can’t live without only cost us around $100. That’s a hundred dollars’ worth of stuff and I was totally okay with leaving some of it behind if necessary.
That’s not to say that I don’t seek out a good old American item every now and again. I can’t walk past the expat store in the city without stopping in for a root beer and a chance to drool at things I won’t purchase. These days I have several fellow immigrant and expat friends, some of who are American, and between us and our networks we know or can find out all of the little nooks and crannies around the Netherlands where we can get our “fixes”. My Irish friend, Rudi, was a life saver when he let me know that the Chinese Toko carried some American goodie I needed (now you figure out that connection) for a birthday party. I just ooh’d and aah’d last week over a picture another friend posted on Facebook of the American cereals she just got in (cereal is just making its way to the Dutch breakfast table over the past few years and none of it is nearly as sugary and sweet as back home). Utter the word “Reese’s” in a crowded train station and just watch the Americans get whiplash trying to find the source of the coveted peanut butter and chocolate combination.
It was June 2011 when the above pictured “Bounty” came in. An American friend of mine from high school, Chasity, happen to be living on a military base in Germany and wanted to come to Amsterdam for visit. She had asked me if there was anything I would like her to bring over for me and to be honest I think I came up with maybe three or four items. I just couldn’t think of anything worth the trouble. Then she started listing off things that she had access to and it was like 4th of July in my head with all of the gorgeous little fireworks going off with the mention of certain items.
“Do you need scented candles?”
“Oh, ummm yeah, no, I don’t get those here. Do you have them there? Like, vanilla?”
“Do you need cake pans?”
“What? You have American sized bake ware?! An Angel Food cake pan?”
“What about some Bisquick”
“Oh my God, really? I forgot about Bisquick.”
“Do you need toothpaste or mouthwash?”
(gripping the counter as I was weak in the knees)
“You mean, you have… Scope?”
The conversation continued. “How about _______” and the dear, dear woman popped off about 20 items that I just had forgotten that I “needed”. Countrytime Lemonade! A-1 Steak Sauce! Mrs. Buttersworth! Lipton’s French Onion Soup! GRAPE NUTS! When her and her husband kindly brought up the boxes of items I did what any red-blooded expat would do… I thanked them graciously, arranged them nicely on the counter and posted a picture on Facebook for all the other expat friends to ooh and aah over with the only appropriate caption of “nah nah nah nah nah”.
I still really miss home and sometimes still seek out those flavors and scents to calm my homesickness. Here’s my little “must have” list:
1) Original scented Bounce dryer sheets (this is what my Mom used growing up and it takes me “home” when I need to get there)(p.s. Mother and Father I do miss you LOADS… and we are out of Bounce)
2) Strawberry Chapstick
3) Montreal Steak Seasoning
4) Drugs!!!! Anything heartburn or cold/flu related (the “other drugs” are readily available in Holland, as I’m sure you’re all acutely aware of their soft drugs policy and if not, well now you know, do a little Googling)
5) Quaker Instant Oatmeal
6) Jolly Ranchers (for Marco)
7) Taco seasoning and chili powder – you don’t realize how much you miss having Tex-Mex until you make your first batch of tacos with Dutch chili powder and have a taste.
For most of the items it’s not even about it being ‘better” in the USA, it’s all about familiarity. Is Hershey’s chocolate even comparable to something you could get at a chocolatier in Belgium? Well no, not really but it’s what I grew up with and it’s the first thing I buy when I’m home. At the very first gas station we pop into I head right to the overwhelming long candy aisle and grab a plain old, nothing fancy, love the black wrapper (miss the foil!) Hershey’s Bar. I’ll admit, I even smell the stupid thing. Superior chocolate? Probably not. Home? Absolutely.
And with that, I’m going to go take a swig of the last of my maple syrup and snuggle up in the warm Bounce scented towels, fresh out of the dryer, dried with love with my very last sheet of the softener. Thanks for reading.
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